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Innermost Nervosa

by ElysianSoul

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1.
Decadence and Disorder (The Voice of Anorexia) [2013 Version] 05:11
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Don't start off slow and steady, give it everything you've got, If pain strikes in a bullet then I swear, I'll take the shot, A sincere sense of mar Deus, so sweet and calorific, Success within the mirror makes your body paralytic. Let me make a guess, you feel you've lost your sense of hope? And you feel that no-one's present when you're struggling to cope? You have a futile strategy - you tell yourself you're 'fine', Well honey, ditch that method! I promise you'll like mine. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. What's the use in trying when you know you're going to fail? My love, if you obey my rules I'll see that you prevail. Abandon those who care for you, I'll love you like no other, My vulnerable, my prey, my significant other. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. 'Cause you're the darkest star within the galaxy of life, Remove the fork and spoon and all you're left with is a knife, The knife that juts your shoulder blades and tears between your bones, Creates the sighing of your ribs, your face the sallow tones. Your vision's blotchy, blurred and blank, You try to understand, Shiny walls, an IV drip, a needle in your hand? Your body feels concave within, your heart's a stubborn pound. What's this? You won't get thin this way, get up and run around! My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself. "You promised me your love, you promised every day, Instead you made my life run cold, my body waste away." I promised you my love, so now I'll move in closer, No-one could ever part us from this innermost nervosa. "You promised me your love, you promised everyday, Instead you made my life run cold, my body waste away." A promise is a promise, and now I shall comply, And so I took her final breath and left her there to die. You want it all, you've got it all. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, You want it all, you've got it all, I'm everything you need. A promise can be delicate, adherence is the key. To compose a prose that others chose, is tricky you'll agree. The elation from starvation is a death without remorse, My psychotic painted promises will render you a corpse.
2.
Waiting To Be Weightless 03:22
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Oh darling can't you see the way We merge and intertwine, The day that you were born, I said, I knew you would be mine I breathe in, and you breathe out, I end where you begin, The fibre of your being, and The shivers on your skin. Keep running up that hill, my love Keep running to your dream, The life that you're competing for, They'll never hear your screams. So dine upon my misery And waste me to my core, Just waiting to be weightless, That's all I'm asking for. Pastel pallor of your face, Impassive air of icy grace, Your poker-face, your ribs of lace Dependent on my cold embrace, You're losing at this sluggish pace, You idiotic waste of space, Your guilt and hunger I'll erase, You're winning in this brittle race. Keep running up that hill, my love Keep running to your dream, The life that you're competing for, They'll never hear your screams. So dine upon my misery And waste me to my core, Just waiting to be weightless, That's all I'm asking for. So punish me for starters, and Exert me for dessert, Fragile skin so paper thin, just Starve me if it works. Thrust your menu at my strength, Seduction at its worst, You'll be my friend until the end, Together we are cursed. Keep running up that hill, my love Keep running to your dream, The life that you're competing for, They'll never hear your screams. So dine upon my misery And waste me to my core, Just waiting to be weightless, That's all I'm asking for. Glossy thinspiration, Concave declaration, Long-limbed exacerbation, Of this mental sublimation. Perfection by the pound, and Feeling sinless by the stone, Just waiting to be weightless, With no volume of my own. I'll keep running up that hill, I will, Keep running to my dream, The life that I'm competing for, They'll never hear my screams. So light and high, that I can fly, Above the rest I'll soar, Just waiting to be weightless, That's all I'm craving for.
3.
Sticks and Stones and Bones 04:45
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She attacks me from within, And burns beneath my skin. Through bloodied thick and thin, She knows I won't give in. Our worlds they collide, My power is my pride. Are you angry that I lied? Are you satisfied I tried? The beauty that I see, In sticks and stones and bones, My supernatural fortitude, Resonating when I'm alone. Avert your eyes from me, A ghostly memory, The lights are on but no-one's home, My sticks and stones and bones. Ignite a flame so pure, True perfection is the cure. From my temples to my jaw, My scars they hide no more. Oh sculptor with no name, Please decorate my frame. My jagged spinal chain, My artist of disdain. The beauty that I see, In sticks and stones and bones, My supernatural fortitude, Resonating when I'm alone. Avert your eyes from me, A ghostly memory, The lights are on but no-one's home, My sticks and stones and bones. Brittle bitter sweet, My mouth it does not eat. My exoskeleton, My darkening undone. Silky silhouette, My kilo-joules of debt. With Ana's gentle sigh, I consent myself to die. The beauty that I see, In sticks and stones and bones, My supernatural fortitude, Resonating when I'm alone. All that's become of me, Is a gaunt and ghostly memory, A shadow of a life unknown, Inside my sticks and stones and bones.
4.
Decadence and Disorder (The Voice of Anorexia) [2011 Version] 04:41
lyrics
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Don't start off slow and steady, give it everything you've got, If pain strikes in a bullet then I swear, I'll take the shot, A sincere sense of mar Deus, so sweet and calorific, Success within the mirror makes your body paralytic. Let me make a guess, you feel you've lost your sense of hope? And you feel that no-one's present when you're struggling to cope? You have a futile strategy - you tell yourself you're 'fine', Well honey, ditch that method! I promise you'll like mine. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. What's the use in trying when you know you're going to fail? My love, if you obey my rules I'll see that you prevail. Abandon those who care for you, I'll love you like no other, My vulnerable, my prey, my significant other. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. 'Cause you're the darkest star within the galaxy of life, Remove the fork and spoon and all you're left with is a knife, The knife that juts your shoulder blades and tears between your bones, Creates the sighing of your ribs, your face the sallow tones. Your vision's blotchy, blurred and blank, You try to understand, Shiny walls, an IV drip, a needle in your hand? Your body feels concave within, your heart's a stubborn pound. What's this? You won't get thin this way, get up and run around! My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, Now stick your fingers down your throat and vomit 'til you bleed. "You promised me your love, you promised every day, Instead you made my life run cold, my body waste away." A promise is a promise, and now I shall comply, And so I took her final breath and left her there to die. You want it all, you've got it all. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. My promises are hollow, so fill them in yourself, 'Cause on your own, another stone might jeopardise your health. I promise darling, stick with me! I'll steer you clear of greed, You want it all, you've got it all, I'm everything you need. A promise can be delicate, adherence is the key, To compose a prose that others chose, is tricky you'll agree. The elation from starvation is a death without remorse, My psychotic painted promises will render you a corpse.

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released September 15, 2013

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ElysianSoul England, UK

I am a recovered anorexic and singer/songwriter from the UK. I make music based on the psychological complexities of eating disorders and other mental illnesses, and try to shed light on the darkness of these conditions.

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